Thursday 30 October 2014

I Don’t Have Any Gypsy Friends



BUS JOURNEY – GYPSIES – THE FENCE

I am sitting on the bus coming back from my father’s village deep in the mountains of Transylvania, going back to the city where I’ll catch my plane back to London.

People have been pitying me about this choice of transport.  No self-respecting person goes by bus, if they can drive or hitch a ride in a car from any friend or vague contact.  The bus is supposed to be dirty and unpunctual, but really it is a legacy of the old days when people had no cars, or if they did, no petrol could be found at petrol stations.  What it really is, is the wrong kind of status symbol.  An anti-symbol of poverty.
But I am not a local and I don’t care, and I can’t drive either, so that’s settled.

I get on the bus, half of my suitcase filled with delicious half-ripe, half-green walnuts freshly picked, a casserole of homemade cakes the goodbye gift from the weekend’s wedding, and my packed lunch of fried cottage cheese dumplings “papanasi”.

I walk through the bus looking for a good window seat on the right side of the bus.  There are very few people on board, a couple of old village ladies, a mountain guard and a gypsy woman with two little daughters, one sleeping across her lap.

I sit behind her, and half an hour into the bus ride I switch seats to the left where the window is not clouded-over and I can watch the striped hay plots with haystacks sensuously curving across hills in between patches of orange and green forest.

When my side of the view is destructed by trees close to the roadside, I look around me.
There is a failing argument running through my mind.  The liberal Londoner I pretend and try hard to be is up against the standard Romanian psyche deep in my system.

I watch the gypsy family.  The woman is young, not particularly pretty, a set preoccupied expression on her face.  She may be younger than me but aged by responsibility.  Her greying hair is a lighter shade of brown than mine, perhaps even some natural blonde flickers.  Her skin is vaguely freckled and fair.  Her long hair is platted with orange ribbon in an intricate lattice above her nape.  I study her clothes automatically, as I do with any woman that ever comes my way.  (Why?  Looking for tips, do’s and don’ts, special flavours?).  Her blouse is white with purple-fuchsia and orange flowers, the same as the skirt, a silvery blue jumper over it showing just the collar of the blouse.  A white with gold thread platted apron over the long skirt this is uncannily similar to the ancient fashion worn by the old village women, who would undoubtedly balk at the comparison and probably forever banish their platted aprons, even at the risk of spending their funeral cash, hard saved from many meagre state pensions.

My gypsy woman wears purple sandals styled socks, it is after all October and chilly.  When she gets off at the next break, she covers her head with a transparent yellow scarf.  The two daughter look may be seven and nine, ribbons in their two plaits at either side of their heads.

The daughter who is not sleeping keeps checking me out on the bus, I see the brown eyes peeking around the bus chair every now and then?  I look her in the eyes, with curiosity but no aversion.
The running commentary in my head goes something like this.

“I don’t have any gypsy friends.  None of my friends or family do.  Only an adventurous ex of mine knew some, and I was afraid of getting anywhere near them, while being attracted to his interloper aura.

As long as he kept me safe, that is, and separate from them.  Once, only once, there was a gypsy man in his house, and he took a picture of me, without knowing me.  I left the house after five minutes, offended but also afraid.

None of my family or friends have any gypsy friends.  My ex is gone now.  Everybody I know has an anti-story about gypsies.

Apart from my Norwegian friend, whose government pays her to teach immigrant gypsies Norwegian to integrate them.

And here is the Londoner in me saying I should strike a conversation.  I should find out what are “they” like.  What does it look from “their” point of view.  Does my story about “them” match theirs?

My story about “them” comes in many different ways from my family, friends and newspapers – always the same story.  “She had her hand in my handbag, and when I looked she fixated me with her stare”, said my mother when I was ten.  Petty thieves, occult hypnotists, international networks not to be messed with, their good music on my iPod, hat on the floor at the exit from their London South Bank concert.  They may win, but not for long.

There is no real dialogue.  I don’t dare go and talk to her.  I entertain the thought, and shift my passport into a deeper pocket of my handbag, then I take my handbag in my lap and hold it.

I know she has a story and may be an answer, if I found the right cord, the right curiosity, the right respect.
Instead, I assess the “rich” message my black crocodile leather bag sends, and loop through the latest versions of “their” story.

“A gypsy beggar shouted after us in Granada- “Romanians are poor and they work, we beg and are rich”.”
“A gypsy family asked after the deserted empty house in our village, but the owner refused to give it to them.”  How long before the hay stacked villages with apple orchards change owners?  There are only another ten, twenty years that the aging haystack makers will still be there.  Their children are all in town, or on the fields and building sites of rich Europe, saving money for townhouses.

I want to talk to her.  I want to tell her I don’t hate her.  I want to tell her I am curious about her.  Where do you buy those platted aprons, to start with?  Is there an apron workshop or factory somewhere?

Of course, I know the other side of the story, or rather another side.  We put them across the fence here and we never cross that fence to see what it’s like over there.

But once we are out of the country, like I am, I am put right behind the same fence too.  When I say I am from Romania, I am asked, “Are you gypsy?”  In the city of London, on Playa Paraiso in Mexico.  I shudder at the question, my knee-jerk conditioning coming out of my mouth unfiltered.  “No, and we don’t like them either.”

Yes, I have read The Economist’s studies about “them”.  I have read a PhD’s anthropology travel book, “Wild”, where she affectionately explained how the nomadic civilisations will never be like the settled ones, “they” will never be like “us”, and expecting them to be cannot work, never has and never will.

We will all have to find a “third way” and drop our expectation of “civilising” “them” with our “white and settled” – world standards.  Which, incidentally, have led to uprooting and infecting indigenous populations worldwide with crime, alcoholism and poverty.  Sounds familiar, no?  The Inuit, the Native Americans, the Aborigines, they all suffer from them.

In the meantime, I clutch my purse to my chest and drift on thoughts of innocent me befriending the gypsy woman, only to be conned by the network of her world, at the bus destination.  It’s so deeply rooted in my mind I can shake it.  It paralyses me.

The same evening I am having an orange juice with my family, four of them having just one juice in the glitzy new shopping mall.  Only one of them has a job.

Two flashy gypsy women in gold leaf jackets and platted red and fuchsia long skirts get off the escalator, accompanied by a man, well-fed, sporting a John Wayne moustache and wide-brimmed black hat.

This is our world, from this side of the fence.  Are “we” right, “are they” wrong?  Do any of us have a choice?

I am a Londoner.  I have a Rwandan friend, an Iraqi one, a Sri-Lankan, an Indian, a German, a Japanese, a French, a handful of Eastern Europeans, English, Scottish, Americans, Canadians - and these are just the close friends.  But I don’t have a Gypsy friend.  I think I’m missing something.

Friday 10 October 2014

Stories - 2009 - Rhythm



 ‘I know you’re all looking at me wondering where I’ve left my skirt, you insufferable old women, and soon I’ll be the talk of the entire neighborhood. Especially with this stuffy young man, looking all embarrassed, standing there red-faced and about to drop that violin from his hand…  Who’s this anyway?  Mummy’s boy, come here and introduce yourself.  Oh poor you, your voice is shaking, just like these clammy cold hands’, she thought to herself as she entered defiantly the drawing-room.  ‘Why does Mother have to call me in as soon as I enter the house?  Oh, I hoped I could just escape quietly upstairs!...’

“Stravinsky? Nice to meet you. Are you a music student?”  She withdrew her hand quickly, slipping it out from his sweaty grasp and wiping it discreetly on the back of her thigh. 

She smiled sweetly.  ‘I’m tired and flushed after the bicycle ride’ she thought, ‘now, how am I supposed to ride the darn thing wearing a full-length skirt and corset, for God’s sake?  Haven’t they all seen the advert in the latest Paris Match for those lovely new Turkish trousers, specially made for ladies who wish to ride a bicycle?  Of course not, stuffy old cows, when would they ever open Paris Match, busy as they are, sitting there, pretending to listen to music, drinking tea and ruining my reputation… who cares, it’s lost anyway, and Father loves to see me try the latest inventions.’

“Miriam, show the gentleman the garden.”
“Certainly, Madam, I’ll be downstairs presently.”

A few minutes later, she came downstairs in a long white dress, holding a sun umbrella in her delicate gloved hands.  “This way,  Mr Stravinsky.”

They walked quietly together through the fragrant rows of blossoming cherry trees.  As she passed the bow-windows of the ground floor, she caught a glimpse of the sun dropping lacy shadows on her face through the umbrella.  ‘I’ll just tour the garden once with him, that should be polite enough, and then I’ll make my excuses.’
…..
The beginning of the 20th century was the era of the Belle Epoque, of the enigmatic jewels of Art Nouveau, an era when the woman was pictured as a mysterious, dark, magic temptress.  It was an era of discovery and experiment.  At the Paris Exhibition, Japanese stamps were being shown to Europeans for the first time, the Eiffel Tower was being built and Guimard was drawing the red-eyed, tentacled Metro entrances of Montmartre.
....
“I’ll play this Minuet of Boccherini for you.”  He picked up his violin and started playing.

The music burst like a ray of sunshine after the rain, making the green leaves sparkle, gushing forth with such joy that she couldn’t help but close her eyes, swaying to it, smiling in deep reverie. 

“I wonder how you dance to a minuet.”  The violin weaved a silken thread of light and joy, a deep, simple, childish joy for life that swirled around in a rhythmic, playful dance.

“What is it about rhythm that makes me so happy?  Or sad?” 

He put the violin down, listening to her intently.

“How can I go from the deep melancholy of a tango to the cheer of a dance so suddenly?  Why?  Is it that my heart suddenly beats to the rhythm of the dance, and starts dancing despite my static body?  Why?  Is it that once, in the dark of time, we were fashioned to start beating faster, like herds of wild horses running from a beast?” 

He smiled.  She carried on, without noticing.

“Just the sound of many feet pounding the ground, the soil trembling rhythmically under your feet, would instinctively make your heart beat faster and make you want to jump and run, move your feet to the beat, despite your judgement or your feelings?  And that sudden change to happiness?  I mean, in those Spanish legends of El Cid, they would go to war to the sound of the drums, wasn’t that making them feel just as I feel when I hear those dance beats?  Aren’t we all just primitives when it comes to music, ready to jump and dance and run at a bare sound, no reason, no explanation?”

She stopped, surprised at how much she had spoken to him.  She didn’t like him, after all.

“Let me take you somewhere you can join the herds of wild horses.”

“Ha ha ha!!”   Despite herself, this bland-looking young man had made her laugh.  

“That’s the most amusing offer I have ever been made!”

“Let’s go to a guinguette.  We’ll dress like servants and go dancing!  In the fresh air, along the river, you will like that.” 
“Can we do that?’ She said, incredulous at his daring.  Her skin tingled with excitement. “You won’t tell on me?” – oh, just think of it, the adventure! - ” If you’re just tricking me and you’re going to tell my Mother and Grandmother, I promise I will have your little finger chopped off so you never play the violin again, I will!”
“Ouch, that’s cruel!  Fine, I do promise.  Saturday evening, I will meet you in the little park near the church just before Mass.”
“I’ll be dressed like a servant, be careful not to run off with some other maid!”
“Better than those ridiculous trousers!”

She giggled, pleased at his camaraderie. 
....
Saturday evening came.  As she stepped in the park, she couldn’t see him in the crowd.  She looked around, and at last, his eyes looking straight into hers, she found him.  All proper-looking, his blond hair brushed back above his pale forehead, his washy- green eyes barely showing any feeling at all.  A wide smile beckoned to her, and she walked over relieved.  

‘I don’t know why I’m going to the dance with him; he is really not that handsome, not even half as any of the others.  But who else would dare ‘insult’ me and take me to a guinguette?!  And I’ve been longing to go to one for so long, just when I pass them in our carriage and hear the music, they call out to me. This is so exciting, I hope we don’t meet anybody that knows me!’

‘He is so gentle and I can see so little in his eyes, I wonder why he wanted to go there together. Did he just find me amusing?  Is he attracted to me? How can he show so little?’, she thought as she took his arm.
“I didn’t imagine you much of a dancer!”, she said playfully.

“I am a musician, after all. I make music, I write songs. This – he gestured around – is music. Living music. The best there is.”
“I bet you don’t say that in the salons where you play those Mozart sonnets to the serious ladies of the nobility!”
“Of course not, they’d throw me out for blasphemy.  But those lovely new sonnets they so gracefully patronage me to write, where do you think they come from?”
“Here?” she whispered, incredulously.  “Your inspiration are the chansons?!  Most people are even ashamed to admit to ever listening to them, let alone liking them!”
“Music is something beyond people, society, and what they say is acceptable. Music is something that talks straight to your heart. It may be venal or even slightly obscene, and yet it can still move you beyond words and prejudice.”

He bent slightly and took her hand:
“May I have this dance?”
“You may, sir”, she smiled.

His arms were light and he kept a respectable distance. A vague flicker passed in his pale green eyes, but she didn”t see it.  He was much taller than her, and she was looking to the side, watching the other dancers sway to the heart-felt melancholy trills of the red-haired singer.

“You dance very well”, he said.
“To this day I cannot listen to such music without dancing.”  She blushed.  “At least in my mind.”  She suddenly felt she could tell him anything.
“Dancing is the only true way of listening to music. I am sure I was dancing long before I could speak, before I was born even. The warm round sound of a deep beat just shows me how to move.  I want to simply float along its pellets or merry song as if along a bubbly stream.  I could spend all day splashing around in the sea.  I could spend all day splashing and whirling around in waves of music.  It talks directly to my muscles, to my bones, to my sinews, and they just have to move to it.”

He suddenly drew her closer, so close his chin brushed her fringe.  A tingling wave of desire swept, warm, through her body.  She skipped a breath, her stomach gave a pleasant jolt.  ‘Thank God he can’t tell’, she thought.  He could. She had gone too quiet.  After a few moments she stole a glance at his face.  ‘Is he holding back? Does he like me? Then why?...’  This was far more tantalising than any of the open compliments she was so used to.  She caught herself imagining his eyes longing for her, searching for hers, his fingers on her arm, his lips...  She drew breath sharply.  ‘This just isn’t practical, Miriam. He is a musician, a poor student and not a suitable husband for you’.  A sweet and heavy lightning bolt slashed through her lungs.  She sighed.

...
A hollow sense of despair lurked in his bowels.
“I will never be able to offer you the kind of life you want, Miriam.  And I would loath you to live in any other way than you do. ” He sighed deeply and hung his head low, looking at the hat in his hands.  Then he kissed her deeply, passionately, despairingly, and he was gone.
...

Her mother looked very pleased that day.  Her daughter had made a good alliance with one of the most sought-after bachelor of the day:  Maurice Benoit, son of wealthy merchant.  Her daughter held the arm of her well-dressed new fiancé, a faraway look in her eyes.  He looked very pleased with himself, and  Miriam was glad he didn’t look at her face. “Why are you so quiet, my darling?”, he said in between greeting guests with a magnanimous smile.

‘Oh, no, Mother, why do you have to bring more musicians?  Today of all days!’, she thought to herself, at the faint chords coming from the garden.  Music only made her sad today.

“He is caring, and handsome, we will be happy together”, she told herself.  All the while, she searched inside her heart for something - something that was not there.  No spark, no tremor, no joy, no anticipation, all silence.  Deep, velvety silence, in the middle of the noisy crowd of guests and her fiancé’s voice thanking them for the engagement wishes.

“Let us to the garden, my darling”, Maurice said cordially.

The music started a strange, unfamiliar new tune.  ‘Mother and her modern music!  I wish she were as modern about other things in life!’, she thought to herself.

Then, something in the music changed.  She turned her head slightly, tilting her forehead to hear it better, tuning in through the noise.  She held her breath.  Rain drops, then a ray of sunshine, making the green leaves sparkle, gushing with joy – and then plunging in deep, sad darkness and fading out in the rumble of a thunder.  Then silence.  Then, again, thunder.  She listened to that receding silence, and felt it deeply, that silence, through the babbling noise of the crowd.  She knew it was his song, for her.  It was a message.  She felt him deep in her heart, amid the silence she had been searching, and he was saying good-bye.  And yet he was there, deep and sad, part of her.  She felt her throat tightening, a tightness that rose and rose, stronger and stronger, until she burst into tears.

“But Miriam darling, I thought you were going to like it!  You are always like the latest inventions, and this music is just that!”, said Maurice, puzzled by at his fiancée’s tears.

“Don”t worry, Maurice!  She is just happy!   Engagements always make me cry!”, said her mother, patting her arm reassuringly.

Stories - 2013 - Hiding



We are walking along the path in the park and I suddenly turn right to walk between the two bushy rows of lavender. He doesn’t follow me, because he just has to be different, doesn’t he. I walk to the end and he walk s to his end. I look his way, but he isn’t coming and he isn’t looking either. There is a tall rose bush in front of me and I duck down. Maybe he won’t see me. Maybe he’ll wonder where I’ve gone. I want him to look my way and to see him worrying, surprised I’m not there anymore. He doesn’t look worried. But he starts walking my way. I keep looking at him through the branches and flowers. When he is close and he can see me crouching in my black office suit, his face opens into a big smile and he laughs. 

“Are you hiding?”
“Yes, how did you know I was here?”
“I saw you.”
“You could see me?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to call you Pedro from now on.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Yes I will.”

... I am small. Six maybe.

My mother and I are in the house of some friends. She is talking grown-up things with them in the living-room, and I am bored. So I go and hide. Their flat is like ours, a dark corridor with a built-in cupboard by the bathroom door. They use theirs to store dirty laundry and rags for washing the floors, as far as I can tell by the dank smell.  I sit there in there and carefully close the doors from inside. My dark purple dress would look like any other rags, but I have to hide my hands and face. I pick up some dirty clothes in the dark and put some over my arms, and one over my head and face.

And then I sit there, waiting, listening to the noises in the dark and smelling the clothes. The smell is that of wet cloth drying in a closed, airless space.

At length my mother’s voice emerges from the living room, saying goodbye and calling out to me. She calls, but I don’t answer. They all start looking for me. They go in the other rooms, I hear the doors opening, their voices calling me, and asking each other where else to look. 

That is infinitely pleasing to me. They actually want me, and they are feeling it, now I am not there. And I can hear it all while they don’t know I’m there. 

I hear someone switching the light-switch by the bathroom door, and the door to my cupboard opens. I hold my breath and keep very still, my heart pumping extra hard. A few long, silent moments. The doors close. I take a deep breath and shift a leg - it has gone numb. They didn’t see me. I’m good at this!

“Did you look in the cupboard? She must be hiding somewhere.”
“Yes, she’s not there”.

I smile in the smelly darkness.

The light switch again. The doors open, I stop breathing again. The doors stay open for a while, but I can’t see who it is, the dirty cloth is on my face. I can’t hold my breath for that long, so I start exhaling slowly and carefully, trying not to move at all. I take small, invisible, shallow breaths. My heart is thumping again with the excitement. Who’s going to win this time?

Me. The doors close again, disappointed.

My mother’s voice rings again in the corridor. She is saying goodbye, she has to go. She has given up. But I don’t hear despair in her voice.  She isn’t crying either. I’m disappointed now.

After she has gone, I stay there for a while longer, and then I emerge. There is no more fun if they are not looking for me. If I am not the thing they care about most.

Thursday 9 October 2014

Stories - 2011 - The London Fairytale



The Yellow Good Fairy was tall and black and slender. She sat up, majestic, on her throne, casually dressed in her Saturday yellow ballerinas and oversized yellow designer bag. (A present from a designer she had helped.)  Lightning bolts flashed on her robes like gold-fish in a summer pond, matching her shoes and handbag.
Maitreiy was lost.  She asked the Fairy for help: she needed the Medicine to cure her dying father, who withered with a strange, unknown illness.  The Fairy answered - her voice warm, resonant and slightly sad.
“I cannot give you the Medicine. But I can give you help to find it.”
She searched inside her designer bag, and pulled out a practical pen that doubled up as magic wand and key ring.  
“What you need is three UFO’s: a hat, a scarf, and an Oyster.  Useful Fantastic Objects”, she answered Maitreiy’s questioning look. “Do you have a Hat? Good”
Maitreiy gave it to her. The Fairy touched it lightly with the pen wand:
“From now on, this Hat will protect you. Not only will it cover your hair from the rain of London, so you can walk in any weather. Not only will it shield your ears from the cold wind, so you can enjoy yourself when others run inside for shelter.
This Hat is now magic. It will shut out your ears from discouraging words; it will shield your eyes from bad sights, and point them on to the right path.”
“Thank you, Good Fairy”, Maitreiy said, politely.
“Now you need a Scarf. You will find one at my sister, the Blue Goth Fairy. She runs this Blue Goth shop in Camden Town Market. Any time you need to change your clothes, ask the Scarf, and it will robe you
In the most appropriate attire
That you wish, need or desire.”
“The Oyster, you will need to find it yourself. This Oyster will help take you anywhere as long as you tell it where you want to go. It will be up to you to decide where, to discover where it’s best to go. You will have guidance. It will come to you when you know what you want next. Or, you may just be lucky”, she winked mysteriously.  “Now go, my child. Be true to yourself, be compassionate, and you will find your Medicine.”
With these words, the Fairy led her to the golden mirror gate of her mansion. Maitreiy left, bewildered. Her new gift seemed poor, and she dumped it carelessly into her bag.  She wondered how she was going to make this journey. She didn’t know where to start.


The wind brought a whisper to her.
“You don’t need to ask for ideas, or to be told. Just let them come, and they will. Trust me on that!”  Maitreiy looked around.  A flame-coloured Flower smiled at her, her petals swirling in the sun.
“All I do, all day long, is being beautiful. And think beautiful thoughts”, said the Flower, as an introduction. “That’s all I want, that’s all I do.  I just think of all the things I’m grateful to have in this world, and it makes me beautiful.”
“How did you know what to say to me?”
“Hmmm... luck?”  The Flower smiled, with a twinkle of a rain drop on her silky petal.  “I give beautiful thoughts to people I like.  I happen to like you.”
Maitreiy smiled. The Flower was irresistible, and her scent caressing, like a warm summer night in a Mediterranean garden.
“My real name is Splenda - Rosa.” She sighed. “Only, I’m very ill. A worm is eating away my roots.”
“This one?”, said Maitreiy, squashing with her foot something that squelched.
“Oh, thank you!  I- I can’t believe it!”
“No big deal!”, said Maitreiy.
“If you ever need me, just think of me, and I’ll be by your side. Now have an incredibly lucky day!  And remember: be kind to yourself, as you were to me. You deserve it. Bye!”
“Good-bye, Splenda – Rosa!”  With that, Maitreiy left, still smiling.

It started dripping. Maitreiy looked up – cloudy. The London weather had surely changed quickly. Ochre-grey, purple-grey, and indigo-grey heavy clouds were hanging threateningly above her. A thick curtain of rain swished closer.  She walked faster. It started pouring. She put down her bag and rummaged inside. The hat. Good. She put it on. A perfect London hat.
“I see what she meant. The rain doesn’t matter when you have a hat.”
The sky cracked into a white flash, like an old cinema movie where the tape is broken. A few moments later, the world rumbled into a low, threatening roar. A Dragon came flying through the opening clouds, blowing flashes of lightning from his blood-darted eyes and roaring so utterly terrible that her bones shivered inside of her. He swooped onto a large lawn a few paces away from her. Her heart sank and she slid off to the nearest wall. A little cat, frightened, ran her way, with her eyes almost popping from her wet little head, her hair raised over her curved back.  For the briefest of moments, Maitreiy looked at her. The Cat must have seen something in her eyes, because she ran straight at Maitreiy and jumped in her arms. Maitreiy pulled her tightly to her chest, feeling her heart ticking like a clock in over-drive. The Cat squirreled down into the handbag.  Maitreiy flattened herself against the wall - near a large rose bush – her heart throbbing in her throat - and the dragon flew past. Only the thick cloud was left of him, and the rain-drenched pavements. “Phew!”  She let out a deep breath of relief.
“He doesn’t attack people, not in broad daylight. Too high profile”, meowed a little voice inside her handbag.  “Cats are dangerous for him.  We can see in the dark. We see where they go and when they come, in the darkest hour when nobody can see.  A Guilt Dragon on a Guilt-Trip. Nobody is supposed to know about these Trips!  Shouldn’t you be heading somewhere?”, said the Cat, changing the subject.
“Well, yes, actually, I was”, said Maitreiy, still mystified. “Not sure where, the Fairy said I’d find some UFO’s, Useful Fantastic Objects, to help me in my quest...”
“Let’s go to the South Bank. That’s a good place to think”, said the Cat.

The tide was low and the murky waters of the Thames were flowing past some people who prodded the muddy river bed with long sticks with a disc at the bottom.
“What are these?”, purred the Cat from the bag.
“Metal detectors. Modern mud-larks. Who knows what they are looking for.”
“In search of lost time”, said the Cat. Maitreiy giggled.
One of the people picked up something blue and threw it away.
“Another Oyster Card! Damn those tourists. Mess with my metal detector, they do, those magnetic cards!”
“Oyster, you said?” Maitreiy couldn’t believe it. Could this be?.... “Let me see.” She picked it up. An average blue Oyster Card, like those you use on the Underground trains, yet with something strange: a little oyster embedded into one of its corner, barely larger than the size of her nail. “I wonder if it works.  We need the Scarf, from Camden Town...”

In an instant, they were there. A loud throbbing noise was coming from a side-street. They went to see. Standing in a doorway a tall, dark man beat with all his might on a giant drum. He would sometimes stop, sit quietly for a while, looking up at nothing, with a fixed, somewhat silly stare. Then he’d suddenly stand up again and start beating his Drum.
“What are you looking at?”, Maitreiy asked. “What do you beat that drum for?”
“For the clouds!”, he grunted. Since he beat his drum all the time, he had forgotten to speak, and only wanted to grunt out enough words to make himself understood.
“Why, the clouds?”, she asked, bewildered.
“It’s cool”, he growled, grinning. ”People are happy when the clouds come. They all get together and dance, for the rain to come!”
“Do they?!”, she mused, even more befuddled. She looked around at the Londoners rushing about in the light drizzle, their collars up and their necks telescoped in between their hunched shoulders, as if that was going to protect them better from the rain. One of them walked past, muttering to his mobile phone about an umbrella he’d forgot.
“Yes, they dance all right! I saw them!”, said the drummer.
“Where?”
“Bollywood movie!  No rain, no food, people fed up with blue skies, dance at clouds... Boom! Boom!   Beat the drum!”
Boom! The drum echoed, as he spotted the next wave of thick grey clouds drifting in fast on a gust of wind.  Thump! Boom!
“You can beat that drum all day long, here in London!”, meowed the Cat.
“Tee -he, hee!”, he growled.
“Anyway, let’s hurry; I’m worried for my father.  Do you know the Blue Goth Shop around here?”
He motioned to his right, thumping away with his muscled, hairy arms.
They entered the shop hesitantly. Behind a rack of black lace dresses (embroidered with white skulls), stood a single, old scarf of butter-coloured silk. Maitreiy shook it hard. A sleepy moth rustled away in a disgruntled cloud of dust.
“You like that?”  The Blue Goth Fairy emerged from behind the counter, all dressed in black.  Her skin was so pale it was almost blue. Her eyes were exactly like those of the Yellow Fairy – only a crystalline shade of Caribbean blue. “You can have it – for free!”
“Er, are you sure?”, said Maitreiy.
“I’ve been waiting to give it away, only nobody wants it. It’s dusty and out of fashion.”
“Your sister, the Yellow Fairy, said I’d find one here...”
“My sister sent you, then?  I see.... Let me have another look.”  The Fairy passed the Scarf through her silver filigree ring.  When she gave it back to Maitreiy, it was light as a feather and thin as air. “Now it’s the right scarf”, she said, mysteriously, and vanished at the back of the shop. As she didn’t come back, they left.
“Now what?”, said Maitreiy. “I’ll go to work tomorrow, and we’ll see.” (She had a job, like any other Londoner of her age, you see.)

The following morning, Cat in her bag, they went to work.  They passed by the sandwich shop, the one that always smelled like they burned the omelette.  A sandwich-man stepped out, and unceremoniously captured them.
“You have trespassed on the territory of the King of Spit!”, he grunted.
“The Spit King of Should!  Very powerful, very annoying, if you ask me”, purred the Cat softly in her handbag. Maitreiy didn’t have time to be surprised. ”The nasty, dark, cold land of Should.”
A mosaic in gold letters was embroidered on the floor of the King’s throne hall – so you could read it at leisure while you bowed to him.  It proclaimed: “To be serious you Should not be funny”.  The King held his nose up so high, that his eyes would cross when looking down at them.
 “Those Londoners, they aren’t half as good as us”, he said, spitting on an elegant Page to his right.
 “He likes to spit on people’s heads - to make himself feel superior. The Page’s job is to walk by the King’s side and to be spat on”, whispered the Cat. “Whenever the King is annoyed, threatened, or confused, he only relaxes when he can spit on someone’s head.”
“That’s the best candidate so far!” – the Page quipped.  
“It’s the first one! You idiot”, muttered the King. “Pthew!” – on the head of the Page.

“To amuse the Army will your Task be”, the King said in a solemn, booming voice (this is how Kings speak, you see).
“The Army of Wives!” The Cat shuddered with fear.
Maitreiy laughed. “Army of Wives?!”,
“Don’t you laugh, meaw!”  The hair on the back of the Cat stood up, bristling.  “The Citizens of Should figured out the Wives were the most fearsome, cunning and astute creatures of the Land of Should. Somewhere – on a pen, a handbag label, a T-shirt logo - they all have the Motto: ‘Never mess with the Wife’. So they put them all into the National Army.  The Land of Should has never been this safe since.  Only, the Wives get grumpy very quickly, and everybody grows very, very afraid of them and keeps very, very quiet indeed. Everybody does their best to keep the Wives amused. Otherwise they walk around with their heads down in fear, their shoulders hunched and their necks pulled in, very much like Londoners when it rains. Everybody, including the King.  When he is afraid of his Wives, he keeps a low profile, and his crown falls off and it rings so loud, that everyone knows he is afraid of the Wives too. He even forgets to spit!”
“Amuse them – with serious things, of course, like Culture”, declaimed the King and waved them away.
“Hmmm....”  Maitreiy smiled, trying to ignore the flickers of worry in her stomach. “How do you amuse the Wives?!... I think we are stuck.”
“A-meaws, a-meuws... a-muse?”, the Cat twitched her tail, rolling the word around like a woollen ball. “You need a Muse!”
“A Muse!  That would be nice!”, said Maitreiy scornfully.  “Where do you get a Muse in London?! If they ever existed, they were all in Greece anyway.”
At that moment, a Crow fluttered above her, crowing:
“You’re no good. You don’t know anything. You never learned anything. You are a fake. Everything you did in your school exams was short-term memory, you’ll never remember anything useful.”
Maitreiy felt worse. It was as if her own doubts called the Crow.
“He’s right. Maybe I should make friends with this Crow.”
“You’re talking like a citizen of Should!”, purred the Cat. “No way, you won’t make friends with him!  Believe the Crow and you will just give up.””
“I don’t want that!”, said Maitreiy and shooed the Crow away. “You are a very well informed Cat!”
“Now you notice!  I know so much, they call me the Encyclopedi -Cat.  But I prefer just Cat”, she purred, curling her tail modestly around her paws.   “Anyway, back to our job. Modern times call for modern Muses”, she said, smiling under her whiskers. “Think of Easyjet... Those Greeks!  Get your Oyster and let’s go.”

They arrived again on the South Bank, on the Thames, close to the National Theatre.
“Here we are, at the Muses’ Chairs”, purred the Cat sleepily from Maitreiy’s bag. “They each have a chair, marked with her name. Caliope – Poetry, Terpsichore– Dance, Euterpe – Music, and so on. Nine of them.  The Chairs are nailed up high on the wall so the muses can fly and land on them, and sit there above the common mortals.”
“How do we call one?”, asked Maitreiy impatiently.
“If you walk past the Barge House in the morning, you will sometimes see a grumpy Bucket and a Mop and wiping off Grafitti.  They are very grumpy because they have to do this every day. To send a message to The Muses, write a Grafitti here – only do it in the late evening after the Bucket and Mop have gone home for dinner. Ask them in the morning for any odd messages they’d wiped off.”
It was late evening. Maitreiy scribbled on the wall: “Come.” She didn’t know what else to write. Someone tapped her on the shoulder, startling her.
“Here I am.” Maitreiy looked around, feeling like a vandal.
“You thought I’d fly?!”, said a girl of her age with a big strange guitar over her shoulder.
“Terpsichore, the Muse of Dance”, purred the Cat.
Terpsichore was a Music student, plump but beautiful, with a mane of dark curly hair and thick, black eyebrows. “Call me Terpy”.
“Your guitar looks like it swallowed a watermelon!”, said the Cat.
“Guitar!  Humpf!  It’s a bouzouki! The Harp is not that fashionable, we Muses like to keep up with the times. Even this is a bit traditional, but I like it. Better than an electric keyboard. More original, you see.”
“Terpy, can you help us amuse the Wives?”, asked Maitreiy.
“Amuse – hmm, I can’t amuse anybody.  I can only inspire. Don’t you know anyone who likes to dance?  Someone beautiful or arty?  Anybody will do. ”
 “The Flower!  Splenda-Rosa!”  The Flower gracefully landed by their side.
The following morning they all went to the Concert Valley of Should, where the Army of Wives was assembled.
Terpsichore strummed her bouzouki. The music burst like a ray of sunshine after the rain, making the green leaves sparkle, gushing forth with such joy that the Flower closed her eyes, swaying and smiling. The bouzouki weaved a silken thread of light music, a deep, simple, childish joy for life that swirled around in a rhythmic, playful dance.  Splenda-Rosa started to dance.   She blossomed, perfumed, rained petals on the Wives, who felt their hearts softening, even the hardest-hearted of them all.
Slowly, one by one, each of the Wives started to dance too. The Old danced, and the Ugly danced, and the Nagging, the Clever, the Super-Clean, the Good Cook and all the other Wives.  The great Valley of Should looked like a seething sea of colour, and all the elegant ball dresses, pin-striped suits, saris, sarongs, jogging track suits and party dresses, they all swirled and swayed, fluttered and tapped and waved to Splenda-Rosa’s entrancing dance.
“But this is a Concert Valley. A place of Culture – Culture shouldn’t be this fun!”, whispered an usher. Nobody paid any attention to him.
When Splenda-Rosa finished and the Wives were all tired and giggly, she said:
“I need to go back to my roots now. Only when I am true to my roots can I be strong, honest and happy”, she said, and fluttered off.

The King was very happy indeed to see the Wives giggling.
“Now tell me”, said he, “what are you searching for?  To reward you is my wish.” Maitrey told him about the Medicine.
“That’s a very rare and secret potion. I can send you to someone who can help you, to the Dark Rock Prince, but only if you prove to me you are worthy of my recommendation”. He looked around impatiently. The Page quickly came to be spat on.

 “If you vanquish the Guilt Dragon, my Wife will escort you personally with her battalion to the Dark Rock Prince, who will be your guide.”
They were thrown into a dungeon.
 “The Guilt Dragons walk around seething and hissing and letting out shallow and soothing silver poisonous fumes”, said the Cat, shivering. “These fumes are choking; their stench is like long-worn shoes, like the trainers of mountain hikers and students. They grip your stomach like a searing indigestion, making you feel guilty for standing up for yourself, guilty for not pleasing the others, for not being the same. The fumes make you think the others care about you letting them down, more than they actually really do. They haunt you with regrets and guilt and feelings of being no good, unsuccessful, a freak. They infect your thoughts with imagined arguments - with those people or cats who have long forgotten about it, arguments you can never win because those people and cats are not actually there, to forgive you and tell you they don’t care anymore, and have never really cared much in the first place. They are never there for you to punch in the face, or scratch,even.” The Cat hissed and spat, her spine curved up, bristling.  She was rather surprised at her own words.
“What a rant!”, laughed Maitreiy. “I’ve never seen you so angry!”
“Don’t you laugh. There’s nothing worse than the Guilt poison. It can haunt you for years. The Dragon Office issued a declaration that these are not official, standard Dragons. They are officially very nasty indeed.”
A silver smoke reached them. They heard a hiss: “Seeping, slithering, silent smoke!”
“Oh my God, I’m starting to believe you. Oh, Lord!  Here he comes!”, cried Maitreiy. 
“Some sort of salamander!” the Cat hissed too, much to the Dragon’s gruff, vile amusement.  “Are you going to start singing a Gospel Song now?! Meaow! They all start like that – Oh Lord!”
“Tush!”, said Maitreiy, annoyed. The Dragon was approaching fast.  “Hardly the time for jokes!  What are we going to do?” 
“You aren’t getting anywhere!” The Crow swooped on her. “You’ll never succeed! Give up! You’ve never done anything important in your life! You’re lazy! Nobody cares about you.”
Maitreiy picked up a stone and threw it at him. “I’ll show you!” Then she turned around to the Cat.  “Is there any antidote?!”
“There is only one: clapping! Only I can’t clap...”. The Cat studied her soft paws, and gave them an elegant lick with her pink tongue. “...Now that’s an idea!  Bring your Gospel choir in with the Oyster!”  (The Cat knew that Maitreiy was singing in one every Tuesday.) “They can clap so loud, that they’ll scare any Dragon and Guilt and take all the fumes out of you. Sing this:
I don’t want to please you – meaw!
I don’t really care,
I don’t owe you anything,
You can go to hell!

I don’t want nobody – meaw!
It’s more fun like this
I don’t owe you anything
I can sing alone!

You don’t have to like me – Meaw!
I don’t really care
I don’t need to please no-one
I can be just fine!
Meaw Meaw!

I am very clever, purr,
I am very smart
I know I can walk alone
Walk alone and far!
Purr purr!
The Cat danced a sort of a kazachok as she sang this. The Gospel Choir repeated after her and clapped very loudly as they all sang together. Their voices echoed each-other in harmonies, like the sea-waves in the storm, or an organ playing in a cathedral. The song was so moving, it made Maitreiy laugh and cry, and she sang and danced and clapped with them. The Crow fluttered away sheepishly, and the Guilt Dragon danced so hard he panted. He just couldn’t stop.
“What a philosophical Cat-zachok!”, said Maitreiy when they finished.  The Guilt Dragon lay exhausted on the ground, flat like a pricked salamander balloon, his tongue out, and the silver smoke had vanished.
The King of Should now said: “You are worthy of my recommendation.  My Wife will take you to the Dark Rock Prince, who will guide and protect you along the way.” He didn’t even spit on his Page this time.
The Dark Rock Prince lived in a Mansion at the top of a remote Volcano, very beautiful when erupting, very dangerous too. When they arrived, the sun was setting, throwing golden flecks on the dark night clouds. The sky turned from blue to pink and violet as they approached, and then the moon rose, light pink on the deep indigo night sky.
The Price welcomed them in. He was tall, dark and handsome. Maitreiy felt him to be quiet and strong. He had a serious air about him, serious and a little sad, like he had known much about suffering and terrible pain, but kept it to himself, as a secret. His eyes were gentle and mysterious, his voice deep.
One look at him, and Maitreiy’s mind stood still. Behind her eyes, however, a process as complicated as the wheels of a Swiss clock ticked in motion, with little square cogs neatly engaging others in other wheels, which in turn set other, larger, wheels in motion. She was only to understand this much later.
“This guy is as serious as a headache”, said the Cat, jumping out from Maitreiy’s bag and making herself at home by the imposing log fire.
“I actually do have a headache”, he smiled, much to Maitreiy’s surprise. “Do you have a Nurofen? ... I often get them, that’s why I look so serious. People think I’m scary.” A mischievous smile passed on his otherwise serious face. “I like that.” Maitreiy giggled.
“My name is Blaize. Like ‘blaze of burning fire’. Dark Blaize. I will take you to the Creature of Infinite Wisdom.  She has the Medicine for your father. I have a torch of Darkness that projects a cone of darkness at will. With that I can ‘shine off’ the light and hide things, just as with a real torch you can shine a light and show things. I will make you invisible to the Gatekeeper of the Creature of Infinite Wisdom.”

The following morning, Blaize lead them her to the Creature of Infinite Wisdom. They reached the foot of a very tall mountain.
“We have to leave you here, my dear Maitreiy”, he said. “You have to walk the last part alone, with none of your friends.  I will shine my torch of darkness over you while you pass the Gatekeeper, but from afar.  Be brave, I trust you.  I will wait for you here.” And with that, Maitreiy left.
The climb on the mountain was hard. Maitreiy felt very, very ill, very weak, in pain, tired, worried and sad. The Crow came to feast upon her misery. It was the Crow’s happiest day. He soared up and down, crowing so happy he almost sang. He crowed and laughed and cackled - so loud, that he chocked and spluttered and cackled even louder. He turned somersaults in the air and swooped down, and strutted and skipped and paraded. So hard he crowed and so pleased was he, that he rolled on his back and held his stomach with his wings, hooting with glee, and piped away on his stomach like on black, feathery bagpipes. He just couldn’t stop.
“You’ll never be any good, and they know it! They know you failed. You were oh so high and mighty, and now there you are, no more Miss Strong Woman, weak, weepy and afraid. Ha ha ha ha!!”
The Crow grew huge as a condor. Maitreiy tried to shoo it away, to throw stones, even large ones, but in vain. He was only getting bigger, and so were her doubts.
“Maybe I really won’t make it.” But the thought of her father gave her strength. The Hat! Only that could close her ears from the merciless cackle of the Crow. She stuffed it over her ears in earnest. She passed the Gatekeeper in a cone of darkness that the Prince shone on her with his torch from afar.
It was scorching hot. She felt as if she was walking on the surface of the Sun. If only she had something cool to wear!  She remembered the Scarf and asked it for an astronaut costume.  The Scarf was of a different opinion, because it turned into a flowing summer dress that felt breezy.
Then she finally saw it. The Creature of Infinite Wisdom.
A Hen.
Hatching eggs.
“Don’t look at me like that, my dear”, the Hen said in a friendly cackle. “You found me all right. Each of these eggs are a London day. This one is a spring Chicken-Day. How the day goes depends on what you feed me. I feed on prayers - they flutter up like sea-gulls, and then land on the river of the Night. They bob up and down on its dark waters, like little white paper boats, all the way up to my dinner-plate. Gold grains hatch sunny days – only they are rare. They are the prayers of gratitude. Most prayers are shopping lists, so the grains are gray, and so are most London days.”

“This is the secret Medicine: feed him good food, good water, and Good Words. Encouraging words, words of Health, words of Hope, words of Courage, words of Strength, words of Endurance. Tell him about the things he likes, and how he will do them when he gets better. Tell him how much you need him. Tell him how much everybody else needs him and wants him to be there. Tell him about all the beautiful things he likes in the world, about all the places and flowers and sports and things that bring him joy. This will give him the Desire to be here. The Desire to Live and be well again.”
“I can cure him with a bit of fun?”, said Maitreiy.
“Fun? Well, yes, my dear. Fun, or joy. Joy for life. The most important and serious thing in life. Only playing is almost as serious as this. Now go to your Father. He is waiting.”
Maitreiy listened to this, and then thanked the Hen and returned home to her father with Blaize and the Cat. Her father recovered, and gave his blessings for her to marry Blaize. Every evening from then on, when Blaize came from the supermarket, he found his father-in-law playing with his grandchildren, who liked to ride on his back giggling. And every night, Blaize’s eyes would meet Maitreiy’s over the heads of the children and her healthy father, and she knew she was happy.
The Cat would sometimes play with them too, or go to sing with the Gospel Choir, who were very fond of her song and asked her for many other songs.